[ too little, too late. he's spiraling at last. ]

She hated me for something that isn't even my fault. She died hating me.

[ the threads are unraveling. ]

I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, I know you didn't mean it like that, I just- I can't-

[ think straight. his voice is increasing in volume and pitch as his thoughts keep winding him up. it's fine; no one will hear him but Jon. ]

Sh-she was supposed to...to be my mum, but she couldn't stop hating me and being right about every horrible thing she's ever said about me, but she was still a person who was hurting and I hate her but I can't hate her, and I just- I just wanted- Just once- I wanted her to be wrong. Just once. Even... Even i-if she was lying, to say anything nice about me, about my life-!