kayakking | (no subject)

[Funny how that trend goes.]

And I'm fairly certain he hates me.

I think right now, she hasn't gone yet. I doubt she'd listen to me, but maybe things can play out a bit differently.

Where was I... Destroyed the Dark Sun. Melanie was starting to go to therapy and ... [A chuff of a laugh.] Seeing Georgie. Daisy started inviting me out to drinks with her and Basira, and it was... It wasn't bad. For a little while. Daisy had broken into Elias' office to sign employment papers, and she... never fixed the lock. So I was able to sneak in a few times and get some other statements he hadn't trusted me with.

After we got back from Ny-Ålesund though is... When I. Started losing myself. I was... Hungry. After four people, the fifth went to complain to Martin as the assistant to Peter Lukas about me. He still wouldn't even be in the same room as me, but got everyone else to hold an intervention.

I- I don't mean that as a bad thing, it was good. I'm glad he did. It was just... [He sort of sinks into himself a bit, further into his seat not daring to look at Tim.] Accepting I'm.. Not as good as I'd like to think I am.

[Hungry. Started losing himself.

Those were... heavy statements. (Little glimpses of the future if he kept trying to sit on principle.)

...

Not long ago, he'd have had very different things to say. He'd have, even as fond as he is, laid judgement. (Maybe some part, a little part, in denial, still does a little.)
]

... Yeah. Yeah that's uh... a big one.

[Tim hasn't managed it yet.]

I'm not sure how much we can be...

.... Even if we try to as much good with this as we can, it's still... Coming from that source.

[He rubs absently at one of the pock scars on his cheek, finished his drink off.]

After that was. When I found Eric's statement. A recording of him speaking to Gertrude. He was Gerry's father, worked for the Institute. He was... The one who found a way out and took it. And it worked.

[A slow inhale.] As soon as I flistened to it, I. I ran to Martin. Asked him to.... To go with me.

[At this, he sounds... Miserable. A little heartbroken, but trying to talk past it, through it.]

He laughed. Said no. That. That I had only gone to him for an excuse not to.

[He hadn't. But Martin didn't want to.]

After that was... Just. Waiting. Reading more statements. Melanie took the way out after I told them all. Gave them the choice.

And then everything went wrong. Peter took Martin to the Pabopticon to... I still don't fully know what he was doing. Elias walked out of prison to get there, Trevor and Julia were trying to get in to get at me, Not Them was let out in the tunnels. It.. It got to be a lot. But I got there too late, Peter had taken Martin to the Lonely and I... Followed their trail.

I confronted Peter, destroyed him. And... Then I couldn't find Martin. Anywhere.

[... He'd have assumed that too, frankly. Jon was ... passive in a lot of ways, and deeply aggressive in others. (Rarely both at the same time, thankfully.)

But with Jon preparing himself now... well, it certainly rang anything but hollow, and the retelling gets a wince. But no interruption.

It took a moment to place Julia and Trevor, SO much had been covered over the expanse of this that he nearly misses the kicker of the Lonely.

He gives a look at mark on Jon's shoulder. Perhaps Peter got his own revenge...]

Because he'd gone here...

[A heavy breath through his nose, just. Staring at the table.]

Yeah. Because he'd come here.

And. You know the rest.

Right.

[He's finishing off that beer.]

That's. God.

A lot, I know.

[He sort of tilts his empty can onto its edge.]

You know, I've never laid it all out before. Never just... Told anyone. Algric doesn't even know a lot of that.

Sounds like you didn't have anyone there to hear it even if you wanted to.

[It was... so much. Almost to the point where having it laid out so starkly, it seemed as though it could have possibly been the poor luck of any one person.

But then, it wasn't luck.

It was specifically not luck.]

I'm getting another, you want one?

[He's quiet, considering everything. All of it, orchestrated by Jonah Magnus, even when it wasn't entirely planned, the man knew how to adapt a situation to what he needed. Could they really go against that? Could they get around his sight and cunning?

A tall order.

It takes a moment to register being asked, blinking up to Tim.]

Um. Yes. Yes, please.

[He doesn't ask Jon if he wants another of the same. He doubts the man tasted it any more than Tim did. There's a brief moment where the fridge cracks open, and another after it that a fresh can is placed in front of Jon.

Tim lingers a moment, hand on Jon's shoulder, with a light squeeze.]

Yeah.

... Give me a minute to process all this.

Of course, Tim.

[He appreciates the comfort, that warmth Tim's hand brings him through that bad shoulder.]

Thank you. For listening.

No, I-

Thank you for telling me.

Mm.

[He doesn't make to reach for the can yet, just. Lingering on thoughts. Hesitantly rests a hand over Tim's.]

I do... Hope things here can turn out differently.

[It's a ghost of a smile, with the weight of everything spread out over all that distance, all of that trauma.]

I mean. They already have.

I meant.

[Huff. Shakes his head, picking the can up now to pop it open.]

Hopefully he won't have to suffer anywhere near as much.

[Another companionable squeeze of the shoulder and he moves to drop back into his own seat next to Jon, cracking his own can.]

Yeah... I.

He's really determined, though.

[Putting his eyes out is. Yeah.]

I mean, I'm glad? But also terrified for him.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little terrified myself. I'm not sure what's going to happen to him.

[He just looks into the open can, still otherwise untouched. A deep breath.]

Is it... we're early enough, right?

Yes. Yes, you've caught it early enough.

[He can tell, Jon's right on the tip of the needle, waiting, balancing.]

Just, with his current marks and all, I'm not sure what's going to come next.

You think something might be deep enough that when its cut off, something else might creep in.

[Like what happened to Tim...]

....The possibility is always there.

[Takes a long drink from that can in front of him.]

I'll keep a watch on him after. Make sure nothing happens.

... Good. Thank you.

[Yeah, that is an excellent idea. Bottoms up.]

I mean, it's always been the ideal scenario that he'd actually look after himself. [He cracks a little bit of a smile. It's wan with the ... well, with everything still processing. But it's Tim. He's gonna manage.]

So, I guess a second, more experienced himself will do the trick.

He's got the three of you as well. He can't go too badly with that.

I'll just have my eye on the ...less obvious things.

Right.

Right. There's going to be a lot in just... making sure he's okay coming through this.

Yes.

I... I think he'll do fine. You've all got a plan set and ready, and Martin seems keen to look after him.

[He watches Tim; now that he's gotten to tell him everything, he... desperately wants that comfort he was testing earlier, before. It still strikes him off guard that he can have this with Tim.]