kayakking | (no subject)

[He has to fight back the brittle, broken laugh at that. "A good guy". After everything he's done, the concept is so...

He stifles it down, rubs at his mouth before taking another drink.]

Because it was my fault she was in there to start with. [And who told him that? Who made it clear to him?] I needed to get her back for... For Basira. For herself. I needed to make right what I screwed up.

[Oh, oh he could probably guess. He could probably guess really clearly if it was posed. It's not that all roads of destruction have lead to one man.

It's just that all of them have LATELY.]

...

Did it work?

... It did. I-

It was horrible. And I felt more human that I had in... A long time down there. But I got Daisy out. Martin had piled... A lot of recorders around the coffin, playing my old statements to help lead me out. Nowhere to be seen himself of course.

She was... Different. After that. Quieter, holding off on hunting. She stayed with me while I worked a number of times. It was... All right. For a while.

[It cut them off. And..

.. there's a thought there, but he can't quite make himself look at it.

He sinks in his seat a little, takes another long drink of beef and breathes it out.]

...

Is that why you want to deal with her if she comes?

[He hesitates, voice catching in his throat before taking another drink.]

A bit. I... I think I can get through to her before it gets bad. Maybe get her on our side without it being an issue, I don't know. I'll have to think about it.

... Okay, but if it starts to go south, let us help, okay?

...I will, Tim. I will.

[Another drink, remembering bits and pieces he skimped over.]

Didn't even mention Melanie trying to kill me after I woke up. Got Basira to help me get the bullet out of her leg while she was asleep, woke up swinging. Got a good stab into me.

After that, Basira and I went to Ny-Ålesund on some intel about a ritual for the Dark. I saw-

[Lord. His breath catches again, remembering it. The sheer magnitude of it, the depths...]

I saw the Dark Star. The Dark's ritual had already collapsed in on itself during Gertrude's time, and. That was left behind. I.... I destroyed it.

So before we go into you destroyed the Dark.

Why was there a bullet in her leg and why did she stab try to kill you for removing it?

[He rubs at his eye - no red there, just an itch.]

Right. She - before the Unknowing happened, she went to India. Checking out some story. Turns out the, um. Ghosts there weren't keen on her being there and shot at her. A literal. Ghost bullet in her leg. Didn't show up on any hospital scans, but I could see it. It was... infected, it was infecting her. She was always angry, but this.... made it worse. By the time I woke up, she was almost taken by the Slaughter, and was.

[Sighs.]

Angry at me for a lot of reasons. Doing a surgery on her in her medically induced sleep was top of the list.

[THAT SURE IS A STATEMENT RIGHT THERE.]

You know, we know at least one doctor.

[Of course... Jon did piss him off royally, though.]

[Funny how that trend goes.]

And I'm fairly certain he hates me.

I think right now, she hasn't gone yet. I doubt she'd listen to me, but maybe things can play out a bit differently.

Where was I... Destroyed the Dark Sun. Melanie was starting to go to therapy and ... [A chuff of a laugh.] Seeing Georgie. Daisy started inviting me out to drinks with her and Basira, and it was... It wasn't bad. For a little while. Daisy had broken into Elias' office to sign employment papers, and she... never fixed the lock. So I was able to sneak in a few times and get some other statements he hadn't trusted me with.

After we got back from Ny-Ålesund though is... When I. Started losing myself. I was... Hungry. After four people, the fifth went to complain to Martin as the assistant to Peter Lukas about me. He still wouldn't even be in the same room as me, but got everyone else to hold an intervention.

I- I don't mean that as a bad thing, it was good. I'm glad he did. It was just... [He sort of sinks into himself a bit, further into his seat not daring to look at Tim.] Accepting I'm.. Not as good as I'd like to think I am.

[Hungry. Started losing himself.

Those were... heavy statements. (Little glimpses of the future if he kept trying to sit on principle.)

...

Not long ago, he'd have had very different things to say. He'd have, even as fond as he is, laid judgement. (Maybe some part, a little part, in denial, still does a little.)
]

... Yeah. Yeah that's uh... a big one.

[Tim hasn't managed it yet.]

I'm not sure how much we can be...

.... Even if we try to as much good with this as we can, it's still... Coming from that source.

[He rubs absently at one of the pock scars on his cheek, finished his drink off.]

After that was. When I found Eric's statement. A recording of him speaking to Gertrude. He was Gerry's father, worked for the Institute. He was... The one who found a way out and took it. And it worked.

[A slow inhale.] As soon as I flistened to it, I. I ran to Martin. Asked him to.... To go with me.

[At this, he sounds... Miserable. A little heartbroken, but trying to talk past it, through it.]

He laughed. Said no. That. That I had only gone to him for an excuse not to.

[He hadn't. But Martin didn't want to.]

After that was... Just. Waiting. Reading more statements. Melanie took the way out after I told them all. Gave them the choice.

And then everything went wrong. Peter took Martin to the Pabopticon to... I still don't fully know what he was doing. Elias walked out of prison to get there, Trevor and Julia were trying to get in to get at me, Not Them was let out in the tunnels. It.. It got to be a lot. But I got there too late, Peter had taken Martin to the Lonely and I... Followed their trail.

I confronted Peter, destroyed him. And... Then I couldn't find Martin. Anywhere.

[... He'd have assumed that too, frankly. Jon was ... passive in a lot of ways, and deeply aggressive in others. (Rarely both at the same time, thankfully.)

But with Jon preparing himself now... well, it certainly rang anything but hollow, and the retelling gets a wince. But no interruption.

It took a moment to place Julia and Trevor, SO much had been covered over the expanse of this that he nearly misses the kicker of the Lonely.

He gives a look at mark on Jon's shoulder. Perhaps Peter got his own revenge...]

Because he'd gone here...

[A heavy breath through his nose, just. Staring at the table.]

Yeah. Because he'd come here.

And. You know the rest.

Right.

[He's finishing off that beer.]

That's. God.

A lot, I know.

[He sort of tilts his empty can onto its edge.]

You know, I've never laid it all out before. Never just... Told anyone. Algric doesn't even know a lot of that.

Sounds like you didn't have anyone there to hear it even if you wanted to.

[It was... so much. Almost to the point where having it laid out so starkly, it seemed as though it could have possibly been the poor luck of any one person.

But then, it wasn't luck.

It was specifically not luck.]

I'm getting another, you want one?

[He's quiet, considering everything. All of it, orchestrated by Jonah Magnus, even when it wasn't entirely planned, the man knew how to adapt a situation to what he needed. Could they really go against that? Could they get around his sight and cunning?

A tall order.

It takes a moment to register being asked, blinking up to Tim.]

Um. Yes. Yes, please.

[He doesn't ask Jon if he wants another of the same. He doubts the man tasted it any more than Tim did. There's a brief moment where the fridge cracks open, and another after it that a fresh can is placed in front of Jon.

Tim lingers a moment, hand on Jon's shoulder, with a light squeeze.]

Yeah.

... Give me a minute to process all this.

Of course, Tim.

[He appreciates the comfort, that warmth Tim's hand brings him through that bad shoulder.]

Thank you. For listening.

No, I-

Thank you for telling me.

Mm.

[He doesn't make to reach for the can yet, just. Lingering on thoughts. Hesitantly rests a hand over Tim's.]

I do... Hope things here can turn out differently.

[It's a ghost of a smile, with the weight of everything spread out over all that distance, all of that trauma.]

I mean. They already have.

I meant.

[Huff. Shakes his head, picking the can up now to pop it open.]

Hopefully he won't have to suffer anywhere near as much.